What would it take, then, to help people share their opinions in an adaptive, nuanced, conversable world? Rather, we guard and fortify them, sharing them as beacons for the like-minded and shields against the skeptical, not so they help us explore each other’s perspectives, but so we can push for our way of thinking and stomp out the other side. That’s not how we tend to hold our opinions, though-flexibly. Where do our political norms and structures hit or miss the mark for people-for you-and why? What concerns you? What gives you hope? This is how our opinions serve us: not by pushing us to defend our point of view to each other at all costs at all times, but by representing it in ongoing negotiations that both honor and transform it. To keep our society responsive to this mishmash of people, we need to visit and revisit each other’s take on how living these days feels. But at its core, politics is about how we coexist wisely, how we create societies that support us in all our different priorities and preferences. When we’re divided, politics feels like it’s exclusively about stopping the other side. Here is my theory: To be most useful and alive, our opinions-particularly our political opinions- must be in curious conversation with each other. Through my experience interviewing thousands of people and storytelling for Braver Angels, I’ve learned what the most common pitfalls in conversations are-and the practical ways to stay humble and open to get conversations back on track. In my new book I Never Thought of It That Way, I explore how we can have more fearlessly curious conversations across our big divides. With nothing more than these two questions, we can help our minds move from certainty to uncertainty, finding gaps in understanding that help our curiosity catch on. To have a chance at really hearing other beliefs, Smith teaches, you have to value truth more than your own opinion, and you have to come in with a measure of humility. If I value my own beliefs more than the truth, I’m going to defend myself to the death. “If I’m wrong about some things-my beliefs about everything all put together-my beliefs are not synonymous with the truth. “’Cause they’re not synonymous,” he told the class. Smith then asked his second question to help peel us apart from our opinions so we could look at them fresh: “Which do you value more: the truth or your own beliefs?
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